Marriage Vows

"Mwarwridge (Marriage) is what brings us together today" - If you have seen the movie, Princess Bride you would know what I'm talking about. Hopefully you chuckle as loud as I do, when you heard that said. In fact I was at a wedding a few years back and during the rehearsal, the minister suddenly quoted that line. The whole group of us lost it. You had to be there. :-)

As my husband works in the ministry, we deal with all sorts of situations and recently it seems that marriages are being attacked left and right. I'm saddened by the many marriages that do not keep people together.


Before I go on I want to say that there are some out there, that would LOVE to fight to keep their marriage but their spouse doesn't. If that is true of you, this article is not for you.


I believe that many problems lead to divorce but ultimately I believe that it all starts when you don't take your promises or vows seriously. In the 30th book of Number, keeping your promises is addressed. "This is the thing which the LORD hath commanded. If a man vow a vow unto the LORD, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceeding out of his mouth." When you are taking your wedding vows you are promising to keep those vows. "Till death do us part," this means that you will stay with them, faithfully until you or they die.


Recently I heard a story of a couple who were struggling in their relationship because the man wasn't sure he was still in love with his wife. He suggested that they live separately for a time to see if he loved her and if he did they would move back in together. If not then he would go his happy way. Wait a second, sir! You promised to love and cherish her till the end. What changed? your feelings? 


You may say, oh well your still a newlywed and so you just don't understand. Ok, so here is some honesty to you all. I may be a newlywed, but I am hard to live with. Ask my husband and parents. :-) There have been days that I have truly not liked my husband and didn't feel any love toward him. I know he has had days like this too. In fact I have had longer then just a day a two before. I have second guessed getting married (not because my husband is some meany but because I was being a brat and not getting what I wanted at that moment) but do you know why? It was because of my flesh. I was wanted what I wanted at that minute. I didn't think of the promises I had made toward my husband. I didn't think about the fact that I had made a promise before God. I was living in the flesh. Furthermore if I had had Christ the center of my life at the moment, I would have been more focused on my husbands needs then my own.


There is no "my feelings changed." You made a promise to your spouse, you now need to keep it. I don't care if you know another man or woman who would "make you happier." You choose him/her, you promised to love and honor him/her NOW DO IT!


For those of you who have had divorced forced on you, my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry that the devil and our flesh is fighting so hard. I know you are hurting. Hang in there. Remember that our Father will hold you and love you and be a husband/wife to you.
For those of you, who are teetering and say I don't know what to do. FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE!

1.  Confess the sins to your heavenly father. If you heart has been wandering, let your Heavenly Father and spouse know and confess it. It's better to save your marriage now then let it go down that path and not be able to return.
2. Communication is key! Talk to your spouse, tell them what is going on in your heart. Let them know that you need to spice things up.
3. Go on dates. Take time! Once a month go out for the evening. Every night, spend atleast 5-10 minutes of uninterrupted time talking.
4. Ladies, be open to your husbands needs. Find them out and do it! Men, your wives need you to listen to them.

Here are some articles online that can help you with different problems in your marriage. Also check out my book list for more suggestions.

1. Focus on the Family has LOTS of help for marriages. (Anything from early years to finances to intimacy to crisis) Spend some time checking out their website
2. Date Him Again - Here are some cute ideas of some dates.You don't have to go to this extent. Just take her on a walk and talk. Go get ice cream. Turn of the TV and curl up on the couch. Spend time together
3. Christ-Centered Relationship - I have posted this before, but it's part 1 of a video to encourage  couples to keep Christ the Center of your relationship

There are a lot of difficulties I could talk about in marriage and try to give suggestions but its going to take God and you choosing to make the difference...LOVE is a choice...