Please God or Pleasing Self (Last -Part 5)

Today we are going to wrap up this study. Simply put, God wants to be #1 in your life. He will not settle for anything other then that. Exodus 20 say  "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." The problem with making men your priority is that they becomes gods in your life. Exodus 34:14 says "For thou shalt worship no other gods" and in Matthew 10:37-39 it talks about putting God even before your own family. "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." God is serious about being the most important one in your life.

 

What if you have made these lustly desires more important?

Confess and forsake. David, after committing his sin with Bathsheba writes a beautiful psalm. If you have crossed the boundaries, whether physically or emotionally. Cry out this psalm to the Lord. Here is part of it. Psalms 51"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.  Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest....Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit."

What can you do right now?

Be the daughter of the King, the best you know how to be and if you don't know how, get into God's Word. He will tell you how to act and what to do.
Ask God to prepare you right now, to mold you and make you the wife that your husband is going to need for his ministry in life. Focus on being that woman right now.
Write to your future husband (Journal). Tell him about your life, your passion and desires. Tell him that you are waiting for him. Pray for him everyday and record this all. One day, after you are married you can give him the book so that he can read your journey to Him.

Just Think...

If God, who created this beautiful and amazing world, personally created and made us, do you not think that he knows best who we should be with? Why waste your time and energy and emotions. Let God bring him to you.

Pursue after God, make Him #1 in your life and let him gift you the best man for you.

Pleasing God or Pleasing Self Part 4

Yesterday we talking about putting out lustful thinking and putting in God's Word. Today we are going to continue with the second part of that subjuct. We are going to talk aboutpursing God.

 2 Corinthian 7:1 says "Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God." We pursue after dreams, we pursue after boys but when is the last time we truly tried to pursue after an intimate relationship with God.

Ephesians 5:1-4 "Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks."

Do you spend time thinking of God's goodness and greatness? Do you ever open the psalms and simply praise God for who He is? Do you talk to him? Do you embrace His Words to you? Do you spend time trying to make the effort of being what God would want you to be? Do you dress to please him? Do you talk to please Him? This is pursueing God.

I Peter 1:14-16 "As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance :But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy."

Ok Ladies, we know how to chase boys, lets instead chase GOD!

Please God or Pleasing Self Part 3

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh 

What's in comes out

Today we are going to talk about safe-guarding our "love lives" You may have heard the phrase "garbage in, garbage out." What goes in, is going to come out. For example, if I poured coke into a can and then tipped the can over, coke is going to come out. If I am constantly pouring wrong thinking into my life, wrong doing is going to come out. The overflow shows what is in the container.

If we are spending a lot of time watching romance movies and reading romance novels, listening to love songs and listening to our girlfriends talk about boys, our motives are going to be all about having a boyfriend in our lives to romance us.

We will expect that man to be just like the movies and books and we will also tend to do things that those movies and books talk about and do. After a while we become immune to the sin in those movies and books. We think, everyone is doing it so why not us. This is soooo dangerous. All of a sudden our lives become filled with lust and the desire to have that someone now. It doesn't matter if its the best guy, just some guy. Then that desire pushes us to do whatever it takes to  keep him, even if it means crossing God's boundaries.

Matthew 5:28 warns us "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Thoughts lead to actions.

So if they are in your mind and in your heart they will come out in your actions. Matthew 15:18-19 " But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies..."

Put out and Put in 

Philippians 4:8 says Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Think Bible!

So first you must put away the romance novels, chic flics, boy chatter, love songs and focus on something or should I say someone who created love.

The Bible says in I John 4:8 that "God is love" Therefore unless we know God, we do not know love. So there can not be true love in a relationship unless God is present. We must get to know him and put Him into our lives. We must put in Bible reading time and must focus on pursuing God.

Ps. 119:11 says "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." Focusing on God will help us to get our eyes off of boys and wait patiently until God brings someone into our lives. When He finally does, and we are continuing to put God first in our lives and hiding His Word in our hearts, our relationship will be about Him and pleasing him rather then our fleshly desires.

Joshua 1:9 says "This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success."

Garbage out, GOD IN!!

Pleasing God or Pleasing Self Part 2

In the last post we talked about the gift that God gives us in marriage. Hebrew13:4 says "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." The 2nd part of this verse is what we will talk about in part 2.
Proverbs 5:21-22 says "For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins. Joy translation "God sees everything" He sees what you do in the darkness and he sees what you do in the light. As much as God is a loving God, He also is a righteous God and sees and judges the sin in our lives.

It is easy to talk about how loving God is but we don't want to talk about his righteous judgement. Just as our parents would discipline us when we do wrong, just like a policeman would write us out a ticket for speeding, just like we would go to jail for murdering someone, God disciplines us for our wrong.

A good Bible example of the effects of sexual sin would be Bathsheba and David in 2 Samuel 11. David took something that wasn't his and he was judged.
Now He was repentant and God still loved and blessed him BUT he still had consequences. He lost the baby that he had with Bathsheba and had all sorts of family issues.  Nathan said "the sword shall never depart from thine house." and this came to pass. David had all sorts of problems, he had his sons turn on him, he had a son rape his daughter and just a lot of fighting among the family. This was a consequence of the sin that he committed with Bathsheba. Sin always has a consequence!

I could talk about consequences such as STDs, pregnancy out of wedlock, heartbreak, divorces from early marriages and much more, but my emphasis in this discussion is not one of fearing consequence's. I want your motives to be from love of God and fear of Him.

I would like to end with one more thought. I Corinthians 6:15-16 says "Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh." How can we as the temple (the house) of the Holy Spirit, abuse our bodies on this way? Think about it!

Pleasing God or Pleasing Self Part 1

I am teaching a teen class on Purity and so I thought I would blog what I am teaching...it will be a series over the next couple days...

Working at the The WILDs Summer Camp and Conference Center, there was a phrase that was said a lot, "There are two choices on the shelf, pleasing God or pleasing self." When it comes to almost all decisions in life, this is true. It will come down to deciding whether you want to please God or yourself. The ironic thing is that when you please God, you will be pleasing yourself. 

When I think of purity, I think of the words, pure love, clean, untouched, uncontaminated, innocence and the color white. Other words bring about a whole different word picture. For instance, sex. Our culture has turned words this word into something that is free for all and dirty. It's taken what God designed and trashed it. 

God designed intimacy as a beautiful gift. Gen. 2:24-25 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." 

Over the years, I have counseled many a girl who has crossed the boundaries that God has put up for her. I hear the same thing, "Joy I felt dirty afterwards; I felt like I needed to go take a shower." I have yet to be told of anything but of shame and guilt. God has a beautiful wonderful gift but if it's opened early it loses that beauty. Heb 13:4  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. 

You can ask my husband or any family member and they will all tell you the same thing, I HATE TO WAIT for any present. Especially at Christmas time, I am known to peek in my presents, and slit open a few corners so that I can get a peek at my presents. My family has learned to double wrap and stick it in a gift bag. In fact, my husband usually hides my presents until the 25th of December. Truthfully, even though I don't like to wait, I am enjoying my presents MUCH better now, because they are a surprise. In the past, I have always been excited about Christmas but the pleasure of opening the present and the beauty of the present always had a damper on it. Why? because I already knew what it was. Quite honestly, Christmas and my presents were boring. This too will happen if you try to open the present of intimacy before you are married. 

Marriage Vows

"Mwarwridge (Marriage) is what brings us together today" - If you have seen the movie, Princess Bride you would know what I'm talking about. Hopefully you chuckle as loud as I do, when you heard that said. In fact I was at a wedding a few years back and during the rehearsal, the minister suddenly quoted that line. The whole group of us lost it. You had to be there. :-)

As my husband works in the ministry, we deal with all sorts of situations and recently it seems that marriages are being attacked left and right. I'm saddened by the many marriages that do not keep people together.


Before I go on I want to say that there are some out there, that would LOVE to fight to keep their marriage but their spouse doesn't. If that is true of you, this article is not for you.


I believe that many problems lead to divorce but ultimately I believe that it all starts when you don't take your promises or vows seriously. In the 30th book of Number, keeping your promises is addressed. "This is the thing which the LORD hath commanded. If a man vow a vow unto the LORD, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceeding out of his mouth." When you are taking your wedding vows you are promising to keep those vows. "Till death do us part," this means that you will stay with them, faithfully until you or they die.


Recently I heard a story of a couple who were struggling in their relationship because the man wasn't sure he was still in love with his wife. He suggested that they live separately for a time to see if he loved her and if he did they would move back in together. If not then he would go his happy way. Wait a second, sir! You promised to love and cherish her till the end. What changed? your feelings? 


You may say, oh well your still a newlywed and so you just don't understand. Ok, so here is some honesty to you all. I may be a newlywed, but I am hard to live with. Ask my husband and parents. :-) There have been days that I have truly not liked my husband and didn't feel any love toward him. I know he has had days like this too. In fact I have had longer then just a day a two before. I have second guessed getting married (not because my husband is some meany but because I was being a brat and not getting what I wanted at that moment) but do you know why? It was because of my flesh. I was wanted what I wanted at that minute. I didn't think of the promises I had made toward my husband. I didn't think about the fact that I had made a promise before God. I was living in the flesh. Furthermore if I had had Christ the center of my life at the moment, I would have been more focused on my husbands needs then my own.


There is no "my feelings changed." You made a promise to your spouse, you now need to keep it. I don't care if you know another man or woman who would "make you happier." You choose him/her, you promised to love and honor him/her NOW DO IT!


For those of you who have had divorced forced on you, my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry that the devil and our flesh is fighting so hard. I know you are hurting. Hang in there. Remember that our Father will hold you and love you and be a husband/wife to you.
For those of you, who are teetering and say I don't know what to do. FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE!

1.  Confess the sins to your heavenly father. If you heart has been wandering, let your Heavenly Father and spouse know and confess it. It's better to save your marriage now then let it go down that path and not be able to return.
2. Communication is key! Talk to your spouse, tell them what is going on in your heart. Let them know that you need to spice things up.
3. Go on dates. Take time! Once a month go out for the evening. Every night, spend atleast 5-10 minutes of uninterrupted time talking.
4. Ladies, be open to your husbands needs. Find them out and do it! Men, your wives need you to listen to them.

Here are some articles online that can help you with different problems in your marriage. Also check out my book list for more suggestions.

1. Focus on the Family has LOTS of help for marriages. (Anything from early years to finances to intimacy to crisis) Spend some time checking out their website
2. Date Him Again - Here are some cute ideas of some dates.You don't have to go to this extent. Just take her on a walk and talk. Go get ice cream. Turn of the TV and curl up on the couch. Spend time together
3. Christ-Centered Relationship - I have posted this before, but it's part 1 of a video to encourage  couples to keep Christ the Center of your relationship

There are a lot of difficulties I could talk about in marriage and try to give suggestions but its going to take God and you choosing to make the difference...LOVE is a choice...

Laughter in Marriage

Pro 15:13  A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance:
Pro 15:15  he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. 
Pro 17:22  A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:  

Laughter is the best medicine. I believe this is also true in a marriage. I know when Jer and I can laugh about something together it makes our marriage all the stronger. In fact, Jer has an uncanny ability to make me laugh when I am upset at something. The Picture you see is from our Christmas photos. We were taking pictures at the Beach and the tide came in. Jer made sure I got as wet as he did. He is such a tease but I love that about him. 

I stumbled on this article about Laughter in Marriage. Take some time to read and think about it. 

Christ-Centered Relationships

My husband will NEVER completely make me satisfied and content 100% of the time. Wow, that doesn't sound like a good statement to open an article encouraging marriage. However, this is the truth.
My husband was given to me for this time as a blessing and bonus from God. This is also true of my son. I love them both A LOT but I can't let them be my idols.
Many people think that if they put all their time and energy into their husband and family they are doing the "Christian thing" BUT even though this sounds good, it's not where our focus should be. Our focus should be on God. He will fill you with so much love that serving and loving your family will overflow from your love of God.
Look at the triangle. The closer you get to God, the closer you get to each other. This is true. Instead of focusing on your family, focus on God and allow him to do the work of bringing you all together in unity.

The Video below if of Francis Chan and his wife speaking on having a Christ-Centered Relationship. This video really makes you think.

Now think about your relationship, is it God-Centered, Family-Centered, or YOU-Centered?

Single and Satisfied

To all my single friends: Take the time to listen to this clip from Leslie Ludy - True Purity.
Girls: 1. You will have regrets about anything you do,( that goes against God's design for marriage) before your were married after you are married. 2. It is NEVER to late to start over, God will forgive you if you ask him and give you a clean slate. 3. AND THE MOST IMPORTANT - God is Love! Seek love there and he will find you the best man out there. That's what happened to me!!!